The following excerpt is the complete 1st chapter of
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
Liberals are pussies. Yes we all realize this. We gave them a majority in the House, the Senate, and even the Presidency. Only to be bullied out by a bunch of nut job community college dropouts that now control congress. Liberals are pussies, but at least they’re not crazy or stupid… or worse, an incredibly dangerous hybrid of crazy-stupid known as the Tea Party. If you’re reading this you’re probably a liberal, or possibly a self-loathing conservative. Or maybe even Sean Hannity because you heard your name was mentioned in this book... In which case, Sean put the book down; you’re not going to like it.
If you are indeed a liberal, don’t worry, you’re in good company. Enjoy the ranks of such like-minded great men as Jesus Christ, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, and Franklin Roosevelt. You might have noticed that many of these guys are the same “Founding Fathers” the Tea Party claims their ideals embody. At best, the only thing the Tea Party has in common with the Founding Fathers is tri-corner hats and an affinity for confusing flags.
It seems many people have a distorted idea of what it means to be conservative. Or perhaps people simply use the excuse of being conservative to appease the guilt of really being nothing more than selfish, ignorant, and uncompassionate. Many of those that call themselves “conservative” don’t even know the actual political denotation of the word. So for their benefit I've included the definition.
con·serv·a·tive
[kuhn-sur-vuh-tiv]
adjective
1. disposed to preserve existing
Notice the definition is perfectly in line with Republican conduct:
Simple, Contemptible, & Destructive
Now, after reading the definition of Conservative, who in their right mind would want to call themselves this? It is the opposite of progress. In fact, it’s the opposite of the America Dream. To illustrate to my point I have also included the official definition of the
“American Dream”:
a·mer·i·can·dream:
[you-know-how-to-pronounce-
noun
1. the ideals of freedom, equality, and opportunity traditionally held to be available to every American.
2. a life of personal happiness and material comfort as traditionally sought by individuals in the U.S.
You see America, both the nation and the dream that was named after it, was founded and crafted by our progressive Founding Fathers. These men held the radical notion that life, liberty, justice, and equality were natural rights possessed by all men… well, all white men. Just to make sure everyone is on the same page as to what Progressive means, the definition is as follows:
pro•gres•sive
[pruh-gres-iv]
adjective
1. favoring or advocating progress, change, improvement, orreform, as
opposed to wishing to maintain things as theyare, especially in political
matters: a progressive mayor.
2. making progress toward better conditions; employing oradvocating more enlightened or liberal ideas, new orexperimental methods, etc.: a progressive
community.
3. characterized by such progress, or by continuous improvement.
America was founded by Progressives who wanted to ensure that their efforts and sacrifice were building a nation of perpetual improvement. The goal at the onset of our nation was to work each generation to make the next one better. We have strayed so far from this original vision of our republic that it is no less than appalling to report that the U.S. now ranks 9th in social mobility… We invented the damn concept and now we’re not even in the top 5. To quote Bill Maher, “That’s like Mexico being ranked 9th in the Mexican hat dance.”
Beyond the principals I hold for being liberal and proud, I feel morally bound to edify the just nature of the Liberal dogma. To further illuminate this as a sincerely objective argument I've included the definition of liberal.
lib•er•al:
[lib-er-uh l, lib-ruh l]
adjective
1. favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs.
2. favorable to or in accord with concepts of maximum individual freedom possible, especially as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties.
3. favoring or permitting freedom of action, especially with respect to matters of personal belief or expression.
So how did “liberal” become such a bad thing to be, much less word? How did we let Republicans demonize the obviously superior political ideology? I’m guessing the fact that most liberals are pussies had something to do with it.
Though, mainly it was from decades of calculated manipulation through mass media. In case you didn't know it, the media is almost entirely conservative owned and operated.
Despite the fact that you hear the phrase “Liberal Media” at least once a day, or once an hour on FOX NEWS, it simply is not true, but media bias will be explained further in the next chapter. Our current discussion is on what political beliefs actually mean.
In all fairness the modern Republican Party, is basically an anti-intellectual, anti-compassion, and anti-social contract version of the modern Democratic Party. Both parties have a recent track record of big government, gross spending, and war. The only thing that separates the two parties is what programs they favor, which lobbies they cater to and/or owned by, and which social-economic strata benefit from their initiatives. Other than that it’s the same bunch of liars.
Knowing this, I would think the average person would rather err on the side that favors opportunity, social responsibility, intellectualism, truth, and equality. I mean, that would make sense... unless you're an asshole. In which case, you're probably a conservative.
